Are You in a Relationship or A Partnership?
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Too often, we can get our wires crossed as people of desire and need. Those wires I am referring to are our feelings. Many of us in relationships say and believe that we are in a relationship because we are married, or boyfriend or girlfriend. I ask my clients and others if they are in a relationship or a partnership. Nearly all of them will say relationship merely because they are together. Let’s look at the definition of partnership: the state of being a partner or partners: an association of two or more people as partners: a business or firm owned and run by two or more partners. Now let’s look at the definition of relationship: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected: the state of being connected by blood or marriage: the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other: an emotional and sexual association between two people.
As we can see there are some big differences in a relationship and a partnership. You can have both, but the relationship has to be the dominant factor, the foundation for the two people in order to experience a marriage of truth and joy. We can be partners and tend to the household expenses, the kid’s college fund, plan for retirement funds, and delegate accounts jointly or separately, but still not be in a relationship. I know partners who couldn’t tell you what the other person liked to eat. Am I shocked? No, but married couples should make it their business to know what the other person likes to eat early on in the getting-to-know phase of building a relationship. It is the simplest of things that add up to be the greatest things that can save a marriage when threatened by lack, need, and wanting that comes about for all of us in our marriages.
I have said all of this to say relationships look like intentional spiritual connections, God ordained matrimony not man ordained, we should have been set apart for one another to have relationship and to live a life that God has called us as husbands and wives to live. Relationships look like clear and honest communication shared with love and much grace to understand one another. Please note that in our understanding, we do not get out of accountability or the need to respect one another. We are not corporate partners running a tight ship. We are not the books that need balancing, the soccer game that needs attending, or the next investment move that needs to be considered. No, we are together in a relationship, two people dedicated to being sold out for one another, falling all over one another to please one another. We sacrifice the tangible for the intangible and allow nothing to come in between our relationships (this ship we sail upon is built by spiritual, emotional, and matter and connected in relation). On the other hand, partner/ships (this ship we sail upon is built by the association of being a partner) are easily infiltrated and easily dissolved. They are for the taking and can easily go up for public trading. They can mimic a relationship, but they sadly cannot mimic relation.
#whatareyoubuilding
I hope this blog causes you to think and take inventory. I hope it inspires you to build differently or tear down and rebuild if necessary. This blog is just a small excerpt of what I teach my clients in building or rebuilding healthy happy marriages. I felt others could benefit from being asked the same question. “Are you in a relationship or a partnership?”
